Dear Maverick, how’s it going buddy?! I realize you were just born about a month ago, but I figured it’s time for us to engage in a little monologuing. This, of course, is really my job. But later on, you’ll be a wide-eyed buck listening to your bitter old uncle talk war stories and you’ll nod like you actually want to hear it.
Ok, a little pessimistic. But let’s not overlook my creating not only a song but also a fountain for you, which is more than I ever did for my ex-girlfriend. So I’m pretty much totally stoked that you exist in a more physical than ethereal realm.
You caught me at a bit of a rough point in my life- a few crazy things are happening that I am allowing to affect my mood. So I’m not gonna pretend it’s all fun in happy land over here. Conversely, not all is bad for me either. I just have a harder time accepting that. For starters, I am of that magical age where my friends start doing ‘grown-up’ things like marriage, jobs with 401(k) matching plans, dying and of course going to jail. Your uncle Brady here just visited his pal in prison. Hard for your uncle to wrap his head around seeing his friend in the eye-catching-but-a-little-too-loud-for-my-taste orange and talking through the little cheezy, greasy telephone whilst staring at each other through the double paned glass. Hard to accept- all the knowledge of memories shared combined with the darkly permanent future.
Oh, and I’ve got my co-worker trying to hook me up with his new sister-in-law. And despite the fact I am often acutely lonely I am fighting the whole notion rather strongly. But still showing up anyways, if only to partake in company not provided solely by myself.
Look at me-this uncle of yours with the seasoned alcoholic beverage imbibing and semi-annual tobacco inhalation tendencies; who often enjoys hearing cuss words and occasionally adds his own to the universal conciousness; who places himself in the dirty position of ‘nice guy’ and takes care of other guys’ girlfriends; who lets and even encourages himself be used- and ask if I’m happy. Couldn’t tell ya. Not really sure if it matters.
Is happiness my goal? Do all decisions I make lead toward this end? Definitely not. What is it then that I seek?
Note how this is focused on what I am seeking for me. I, while noted as a general nice and sharing guy, am still selfish. Heck, I do nice things sometimes just to make me look good. Through the filter of ‘intentions’ (often utilized by females) this negates any good caused. Is selfishness a curable disease? Is it evolutionary biology at it’s prime? Is it objectivism at it’s highest form?
Before I knew about my friends and their various bits of drama (the prison thing, bosses inappropriately touching body parts not belonging to themselves, people involved in prison thing with their fragmented family problems, more miscellany drama I’ve as of now blanked on) I was seeking entertainment from a variety of sources including the excellent askaninja.com, pirate movies, other peoples’ relationships and my bank account. Now I’m questioning the use of my time in general.
and now I just got off the phone from two longish conversations which have taken my will to type from me. it’s late; i’m tired; I just found out about another death.
there is a world out there, Maverick. a world filled with as many hopes, dreams, life and liberties as exponential decay, death, failure and pain. it’s up to you to wind your way through it all and come out in your own interpretation of victorious. and chose to maintain an attitude that surpasses coping and proceeds directly to downright inspirational.
this is no goodbye. this is a beginning. welcome to earth, Maverick. God bless you and your family.