i have a few stories to relate here, so i’ll just go ahead and jump right into it, as my time and wordiness are limited.
before i forget, let me tell you about the tranformational moment i had last sunday. as you may guess, this occured at church. this in itself is singular because i’ve only had one sunday off work since…may. hmm….yep, may. anyways, i trot on over to a church i’m kind of used to because my relatives go there. i’ve never really taken a shining to it for a number of reasons. mostly because it is a church. and i have some deep seated resentment towards churches. but also because it has such a glossy surface and murky depth to the place. i think you could tell one’s choice in church by what subscription-based literature. one with a newspaper would want a local-focused plain church where as another who reads a glossy magazine would want what this place offers- a glossy, professional luster.
so i’m standing there all indignant about the trade-off sacrificed between high gloss and a living, loving church body while the praise team is working their magic. at some point, i realize i’ve been associating everyone else in the building with the shortcomings of the church. as if i’m the only one who might just be having a spritually rough time; the only one questioning the direction this particular church has taken; the only one who wants someone to act like they care about me. It was a powerful moment when i looked around and saw the church as it is: a group of people who are innately imperfect; who have a vast variety of life experiences and needs; who all understand their imperfections but come to church anyways. i applied the same compassion i had so liberally given myself to those around me… and a lot of the anger went away. yes, nothing’s perfect. yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. but at least some haven’t given up yet.
another moment in my occurred while asleep. i had the standard ‘the world is ending and i’m running with random people from my past for safety’ dream. no biggy, right? but then i realize in the dream that i’ve had this dream before… so i’ve got deja vu in my dream. and did i mention my dreams are super vivid? i woke up from the dream on my stomach, which i never sleep on, and if i knew what waking up from the dead felt like that probably would have been it.
wierd. and still i wonder how dreams fit into Christianity. sure there are some famous Bible events based on dreams. but what about dreams like i had, where aliens swallowed my cell with their face (not mouth, but more the cheek). is that a call to action? should i really track down my girlfriend from eighth grade and start looking for hiding places?
i just wonder about all of it, is all. just one more mystery of this world. and i’ve gotta go, so i’ll try to write more later. time to save another human from the combined evil of the personal computer and the support hotline!