Thought I’d surprise everyone and write a blog during the week. I’ll jump into some newsy material before I forget. I read on the BBC web site about the U.S. Marine Corps’ latest tattoo regulations: all large tattoos are now prohibited. Prison sentences will reward those who get or touch up large tattoos. I find this interesting because the Army just relaxed its tattoo requirements to help fulfill enlistment quotas. The Army is making things easier and the Marines are making things harder to get in. And stay in. Hmm.
Ah, yes- I knew I wanted to discuss (a term used loosely here- perhaps with some comments it will maintain its more common meaning) something else: sleeping. More specifically, sleeping with my eyes open. I have come to the conclusion that I’m pretty sure I’ve done this recently. About a month ago I had this dream in which I could see the outline of my door frame and out into the hall which is dimly lit from a small light in the kitchen. That small light is the ‘don’t kill yourself trying to go weewee in the middle of the night’ light. Fine, it’s a night light.
Anywho, everything in the dream is exactly the same as real life. And then I awoke, blinked a few times, and the view never changed. So I’m guessing I was sleeping with my eyes open. This relates back to a previous post wherein I stated my continual misgivings about spiritual beings. What I forgot to mention in that post was a dream I had on two separate occasions. Basically it goes like this: me looking through door frame, ball of light comes aggressively at me, I shout at it, it goes away, I hyperventilate for a few minutes and go back to sleep. If I slept with my eyes open, the explanations for these dreams are a bit more palatable. As a side note, they freaked me out. Pretty bad. I felt paralyzed and unable to shout. On the other hand, I awoke on another occasion after sleeping in a similar position and I felt paralyzed again, but with no angry balls of light to shout/slur at.
Speaking of household aggressors, my domestic policy is to let spiders be. If I see a spider in my house, I perform a visual examination to gauge its toxicity. If it looks happy enough and is a reasonable distance from any sedentary location (i.e. bed, couch, shoes, nostril) I will give them a warm welcome followed by a stern talking-to about the house rules and then move on. And I gotta tell you- my chakra levels are kickin’! That last sentence is a lie- I have no clue how my chakra levels are doing these days.
The surprising thing is that I’m still alive. Seriously folks- I’ll be here all night There’s only been once instance of an angry spider since I instituted that rule. He was stalking me; he with his wild color scheme and patiently sinister, no-web-necessary attitude. Just watching…and waiting…until my guard went down and he could pounce. That little guy, well, he had to go. Weird how a creature 1/60th my size could inspire such a large negative reaction. I wonder if elephants think that same thing about us. Or maybe whales.
And let me chat a little more about my last blog- the part where I worried that ’settling down’ would impair the free-loving, long-haired greasy hippie in me. I just want to make it clear I’m not a misogynist. I don’t think I’m the Die Hard/Rambo/Days of Thunder guy who’s women are incapable and unwilling to be adventurous and self-sufficient. There are plenty of shared adventures to be had, for starters. And for two, I’m not really that guy. Most of the time I just hang out in my quiet apartment and make up silly songs on my guitar. Or try to trick my computer into cooperating with my latest deviant plan. So it’s not like my life is filled with dangeresque activity anyways. I can be that introspective, commentary-on-the-world writer guy. I’m not all balls and no brains. Especially if those rumors about Mountain Dew are true.
Now I’m just getting crass. The point of all that was to say that once situated in the proper relational arrangement, I believe I will be part of something much greater than I could ever be on my own. And I will not regret it one bit.
P.S. If I forget to write about the church that I have several complaints against, but still liked, please remind me.
I just wanted to say that I had to go to the dictionary twice to understand this blog. Thanks for the education.
i had an ongoing friendship with a daddylongleg above the toilet for awhile until he disappeared one day. It wasn’t until I didn’t know where he was that he creeped me out. oh, and I only had to look up one word in this blog(palindrome) and then realized “El Title” is quite clever and awesome. Neato