The Madness

I’ll just go ahead and throw down a few ideas floating as of late. Welcome to the hodgepodge of my life.

Let’s start with a previously covered topic: the Irrational Button.  As discussed previously, this is the button some women hit at seemingly random moments where everything they say and do for several minutes is confusing and relating to events from hours, days or years ago.  I have explained this by my view of a female’s thought process: first an annoyance happens.  one knows one is annoyed, but realizes it’s nothing worth being annoyed about. so the annoyance stays private. although no one is aware of this annoyance, it has not gone away.  so one would be fighting one’s self.  one would then become annoyed at being annoyed, because it’s really nothing big and why can’t i just forget about it.  and this process when added to the top of the constant emotional brew of a females mind could remind one of other traumatic events not voiced.  and women seem to have a distinct need to simply be heard.  once they are heard, then they can deal with the issue and move on.  so once this annoyance-not-heard level reaches a certain point, it causes the emotional explosion known as the infamous Irrational Button. at which point a female will express all grievances and how she felt about them until the point at which she regains sanity.

Of course, I’m a guy so I could be wrong on this.  And being a guy, shall I broach a possible guy version of the irrational actions? Now, I”m not convinced this is a completely accurate parallel, but let’s work through this together, shall we? This is built around the phrase “I’m not mad at you- I’m mad at the situation.” Is this recognizable as a commonly spoken phrase from a male figure in your life?  If so, he is exhibiting some basic traits accorded to the Irrational Button.  When this phrase is spoken, the speaker earnestly believes their own words.  Basically what happends is that a man gets into a situation he dislikes by actions involving his own and others’ actions.  If he feels he has no solution and no one he is willing to place blame on, he gets frustrated.  So others see him get frustrated and assume it’s because of their actions, which actually may have contributed but not necessarily.  When asked some probing question like ‘are you angry,’ he will most likely respond per the above-mentioned phrase.

If you are the recipient of such a message, please accept at face value.  This male, if pushed to explain his feelings, will get more annoyed because he’s fighting his own feelings.  Therefore, by pushing these to the forefront of his mind while he fights to cordon off his emotions and head into his cave will, at some point, create a loss of emotional control unless checked.  This break down will be similar to the Irrational Button, but likely with less words and more senseless violence done to furniture, self or unforgiving walls.

Please note that asking his to ‘talk it out’ does not provide aid.  A much more effective choice would be to isolate this person from others and allow to brood in his cave alone until his accepts the current situation.

So that’s all I’ve got on that.  Let me know how accurate I am. And that’s all I’m writing about. So much for the hodgepodge.

It’s that time of the morning where I should be slumbering.  However, it’s pretty obvious I’m not.  That or I’ve got some mad skillz, yo.  This problem, like so many others, can be blamed on marriage.  Not mine, of course, but an old friend who’s marriage I attended yesterday.  I got back pretty late last night and had to fix my car before heading off to work at 0700 this morning. And once the evening heat kicked in, it was nappy time for me.  So I just went ahead and slept for three or four hours when I really should not have.  Sorry to my friends who I made plans with to hang out and then… slept… yeah…

But wait! Don’t leave yet. I’ve got all kinds of inance ramblings for you.  Let’s start with “net neutrality.” The basic concept here is that all web pages are available to all internet persusers on an equal basis with no difference in performance excepting innate hardware restrictions.  This is something large ISPs are trying to change.  What they’re headed for is more of a ‘the more a company pays up, the more prominent and speedy their site will be.’ which, sad as it may be, will choke out popular, pertinent, potent and ‘phree’ sources of infotainment like suppasukka.com.

All bitter sarcasm aside, the f.a.q from savetheinternet.com lists a few examples of ‘big corporation’ censoring their users.  My favorite was AOL’s blocking of all email that mentioned www.dearaol.com, a advocacy campaign opposing AOL’s pay-to-send-email scheme.  Awesome, AOL. Awesome.

The phrase ‘freedom isn’t free’ applies in multiple areas apparently.  Especially as our nations top internet companies (such as Google) place fiscal earnings in higher priority than ensuring true information freedom in communist countries. Which brings us (me, really) to my next big American company: Wal-Mart.  Hey, easy to hate I know. But let’s not forget Wal-Mart is a prime example of the ‘American Dream.’  Just came across a movie trailer at walmartmovie.com that goes into the threat they have become by the shear nature of ensuring low prices.  It’s pretty straightfoward to understand that to reach goals, sacrifices have to be made somewhere.

And for a little jolly news on big corporations, Target got a “The Giving Back” award from MSNBC.com. I enjoy the irony in this because they were lambasted in a conservate Christian organization’s mass email I recieved several months ago for not allowing Salvation Army bell ringers to hang out during Christmas.  And for intending to stock dildos. No mention of the latter ‘issue’ in Newsweek (same company as MSNBC), but Target apparently donates “5 percent of its pretax profits—more than twice the average of corporate America. That equals about $2 million a week, or $101 million last year.” And they worked out a scheme for the Salvation Army to make up for the cool 9 million they apparently lost by Target’s decision. “Two years ago our relationship was strained,” says the Salvation Army’s Maj. George Hood. “But when Katrina came along, they knocked on our door.”  I am by no means a staunch supporter of Target, but i sure do enjoy irony.

And sometimes i ask google questions. i mean, like life questions.  it’s doesn’t normally work out too well for me, but tonight was the exception i’ll share with you, o constant reader. i believe the phrasing was ‘why is it so hot in here?’ and google found me a blog by a lady who advocates ‘attachment parenting’ and has an awesome cafepress store.  So if you’re looking for a sweet shirt, let me direct you here.  I’ll order it right after you do.

So it didn’t answer my question, but still a winner in my book.  Those merry few who actually read this probably want more content on the wedding and the big pile of steaming crap known as my social network, but I haven’t gotten to that yet.  Probably because I’ve watched some great episodes of askaninja.com and hopeisemo.com today along with some choice steven colbert bits.  and I’ve realized my tendency to write late at night.  and late at night normally equals unusually depressing.  It’s just natural to come off more emotional- extra pissed or depressed or whatever when blogging.  It’s part of the whole ‘diary’ therapy concept- indulge oneself in copious amounts of emotional fits in order to be a normal person the rest of the time. Which is why my life sounds a lot worse that it actually is.  And i didn’t want to give that vibe this time, which is why i didn’t write about my life…but that’s already sounding so unhappy, so i’ll just sign off now.  you are dismissed. =)

Dear Maverick, how’s it going buddy?! I realize you were just born about a month ago, but I figured it’s time for us to engage in a little monologuing. This, of course, is really my job. But later on, you’ll be a wide-eyed buck listening to your bitter old uncle talk war stories and you’ll nod like you actually want to hear it.

Ok, a little pessimistic. But let’s not overlook my creating not only a song but also a fountain for you, which is more than I ever did for my ex-girlfriend. So I’m pretty much totally stoked that you exist in a more physical than ethereal realm.

You caught me at a bit of a rough point in my life- a few crazy things are happening that I am allowing to affect my mood. So I’m not gonna pretend it’s all fun in happy land over here. Conversely, not all is bad for me either. I just have a harder time accepting that. For starters, I am of that magical age where my friends start doing ‘grown-up’ things like marriage, jobs with 401(k) matching plans, dying and of course going to jail. Your uncle Brady here just visited his pal in prison. Hard for your uncle to wrap his head around seeing his friend in the eye-catching-but-a-little-too-loud-for-my-taste orange and talking through the little cheezy, greasy telephone whilst staring at each other through the double paned glass. Hard to accept- all the knowledge of memories shared combined with the darkly permanent future.

Oh, and I’ve got my co-worker trying to hook me up with his new sister-in-law. And despite the fact I am often acutely lonely I am fighting the whole notion rather strongly. But still showing up anyways, if only to partake in company not provided solely by myself.

Look at me-this uncle of yours with the seasoned alcoholic beverage imbibing and semi-annual tobacco inhalation tendencies; who often enjoys hearing cuss words and occasionally adds his own to the universal conciousness; who places himself in the dirty position of ‘nice guy’ and takes care of other guys’ girlfriends; who lets and even encourages himself be used- and ask if I’m happy. Couldn’t tell ya. Not really sure if it matters.

Is happiness my goal? Do all decisions I make lead toward this end? Definitely not. What is it then that I seek?

Note how this is focused on what I am seeking for me. I, while noted as a general nice and sharing guy, am still selfish. Heck, I do nice things sometimes just to make me look good. Through the filter of ‘intentions’ (often utilized by females) this negates any good caused. Is selfishness a curable disease? Is it evolutionary biology at it’s prime? Is it objectivism at it’s highest form?

Before I knew about my friends and their various bits of drama (the prison thing, bosses inappropriately touching body parts not belonging to themselves, people involved in prison thing with their fragmented family problems, more miscellany drama I’ve as of now blanked on) I was seeking entertainment from a variety of sources including the excellent askaninja.com, pirate movies, other peoples’ relationships and my bank account. Now I’m questioning the use of my time in general.

and now I just got off the phone from two longish conversations which have taken my will to type from me.  it’s late; i’m tired; I just found out about another death.

there is a world out there, Maverick. a world filled with as many hopes, dreams, life and liberties as exponential decay, death, failure and pain. it’s up to you to wind your way through it all and come out in your own interpretation of victorious. and chose to maintain an attitude that surpasses coping and proceeds directly to downright inspirational.

this is no goodbye. this is a beginning.  welcome to earth, Maverick. God bless you and your family.